I didn't plan my outfit well today, so my ankle-length skirt kept ‘sticking’ to my leggings (you live, you learn). As I’m a hopeless, klutzy bull in a china shop, walking with that little ongoing fashion calamity really didn't do much to help me keep from tripping over every feral brat allowed to run around all over the place. Fortunately, no one was stepped on or knocked over.
Shopping was uneventful but while leaving Wal-Mart, right in front of me (I actually had to stop, he was right in the path of everyone walking out into the food court), this 5-year-old shithead pulled a nice, juicy wad of gum from his mouth, dropped it to the floor, then proceeded to try and smoosh it into the floor with his shoe. I looked up and there were his minders, sort of hovering there, pretending not to notice. I barked “GROSS!” in their general direction and decided perhaps it was time to grab a coffee. What I assume was the brat’s breeder just gawked at me for a second, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Whateves.
While waiting in line for some sweet, sweet caffeinated nectar, there were a couple of teenaged girls in front of me and one of the girls’ toddler. A little girl who, despite their gigantic all-terrain stollerbeast, was allowed to weave in and out of gaggles of people trying to make their way through the food court while mommy n’ friend poured over their cell phones. Finally after a near-collision, one of the girls decided to wrangle her in: “RIDER! Please stop annoying other people!” Ok…first off, a barely three-year-old isn't going to understand that (and she didn't)! Secondly…..you named your little girl Rider? RIDE ‘ER?! Jebus wept.
By the time I boarded the bus to leave the damn mall, my backpack weighed around 50 lbs. The bus driver had some weird compulsion to tap the break every 27 seconds the WHOLE DAMN RIDE, which, when done over the speed limit, causes the bus to bounce and jerk. After my backpack fell off the seat and slammed onto the floor a couple of times, sitting like a lady was no longer a concern of mine.